Posted in Thoughts on...Thursdays

Thoughts On…Thursday: Fun With Indecisiveness

Every once in awhile I happen upon blogs that divulge personal information in the name of the belief that blogs are meant to connect personally to the outside world.  After being a part of the blogosphere for about 3 months now, I have to say I agree.  I find myself being much more interested in blogs that have personal stories attached, rather than just how-tos and recipes.  It puts a more relatable touch to the blogger, and the atmosphere is not so sterile.

With that in mind, I’ve chosen to share some personal things when it comes to today’s post.

I spent awhile trying to figure out what the heck to post today.  I have a lot of ideas, some serious, some lighthearted, some thought-provoking.  And I’m so much of a dedicated Lister (my term for listmaker, patent pending…haha) that of course I have an idea notebook of all these ideas.  But every time I thought about writing about any of those topics today, I started getting a stress headache.  You see, it’s been an extremely stressful week (okay, month) for me, juggling the tasks of dealing with tight finances, house-hunting, and job-hunting.  I’m not sure if I’ve yet mentioned that yet, but yes, I am unemployed.  Thoughts on that to come in a future blog post, I’m sure (and yes, I immediately turned to my blog idea notebook just now and jotted that down).  Every one of the topics I had in mind is somehow related to the stress I’ve been dealing with lately, and all I want right now is to hide my head in a hole and disappear far, far away from all these things that have been stressing me out.  So in the end, I decided to save every single one of those topics for another day, take a big swig of coffee (cream/milk-free, because we ran out of milk a couple days ago and our finances are so tight we can’t even afford to pick up a gallon of milk), and cure my indecisiveness the way I usually do:  make no decision at all and instead choose/do something COMPLETELY different than the things I was trying to choose between.  This usual course of action after indecisiveness may or may not also include a long bout of procrastination in order to wipe the indecisiveness from my memory.  It happens all the time.  Anyone else have this affliction?

During this period of procrastination long retrospective on what in the world I wanted to present to you guys today, I came across a couple of interesting posts, and voila!  Today’s post was born.

The first post I actually ran across a couple days ago, and it got me thinking about my own life.  I made a mental note to do a take on her list, doing a “30 things I didn’t think I’d do before I turned 30”, but the idea fizzled…
…until today.  During a Pinterest spree, I came across this Huffington Post article and thought it would tie in quite well with the A Pretty Penny post.  So, without further adieu (ado?  I’ve become a little self-conscious about which spelling is correct.  Anyone know?  I know I could look it up on Google, but I’m feeling lazy today.)  And because of course I love the satisfaction of checking things off of checklists, I will proceed to disclose whether or not I’ve accomplished the things on the Huff Post article, along with personal stories.  Because I can.  😉

30 Things I Never Thought I’d Do Before I Turned 30
(modified from A Pretty Penny’s blog post titled “Never Say Never: 20 Things I Never Thought I’d Do Before the End of my 20s”)
1) Stop wearing sneakers, reserving them only for hiking and working out.
2) Prefer heels over flats, and not trip horribly over my feet (this statement yet to be tested with heel heights over 2 inches).
3) Want a pair of cowboy boots.
4) Not be ashamed of, and in fact actually prefer, shopping at thrift stores instead of the mall.
5) Own a dog and consequently get rid of my fear of dogs.
6) Consider owning a house.
7) Study existential-phenomenological psychology
8) Confidently announce that I know unequivocally what I want to do with my life (though that’s changed in the last year).
9) Budget well enough to afford a plane trip once a year for five consecutive years, two of which involved foreign countries.
10)  Utter the phrase “teenagers these days!” and not mean it sarcastically.
11)  See traditional bookstores go out of vogue.
12)  While we’re on that subject, I never thought I’d see something replace printed books before I turned 30!
13)  Not have a land line phone.
14)  Realize the original “Land Before Time” movie is old enough to not only buy cigarettes, but also buy liquor!
15)  Come to like sushi, even the raw fish ones.
16) Rack up over 11 years of retail experience.  (And thus overshadowing a prouder time in my life when I was a president of a club, head editor of a magazine, writing and music instructor, and pianist.)
17) Not have the journal I purchased in 2000 completely filled out (granted, it’s 8 1/2 x 11″ and at least 200 pages, but still…I love to write, and write a lot!).
In fact, it’s hardly even halfway filled out!
18)  Crave coffee (I hated the taste of coffee until that one fateful night when I was a sophomore in college
and needed to stay up late to finish a paper).
19) Still be obsessed with unicorns.
20)  Want to get a tattoo (have yet to actually get one, though).
21)  Wear prescription glasses (I used to go around wearing fake ones to appear smarter and older).
22)  Come to appreciate wearing makeup.
23)  Watch the entire Gilmore Girls series at least 6 times over and not be tired of it (it’s a sickness, I tell you!).
24)  Hike, snowshoe, camp, and snowboard (I grew up in quite the overprotective and nonadventurous family).
25)  Stick up for my religious beliefs (I never realized they were so important to me).
26)  Still not like watching the news (when I was a kid, I always assumed watching the news was just something that all grownups naturally did and enjoyed).
27)  Come back to and live in the town I grew up in.
28)  Consider jeans to be a wardrobe staple (I hated–and avoided–wearing jeans all the way until probably my junior year of college).
29)  Be able to swallow medicine in the pill-form (I always used to gag on them).
30)  Love country music (my dorm floor my freshman year of college totally converted me).

From Huffington Post article (originally printed in Glamour magazine, 1997.  I do not, nor do I claim to, own this list.  At all.).  Checkmarks and comments under each list item provided by me.  🙂

By 30, you should have …

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
Though my husband was my first “serious” boyfriend, I do have a guy that I have very fond memories of and wouldn’t mind being in my life again, and one that makes me laugh at how I used to be.  Indeed, my husband is a far, far cry from that, and I’m glad.  🙂

2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
If nondescript IKEA furniture counts, then yes.  And, um, one of them was purchased by the parents-in-law.  But if it’s alluding to a unique, expensive, and/or handmade and/or antique and/or ornately decorated piece of furniture, then, um…no.  😦

3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
Hm.  That’s not something I really ever thought of, but I’m sure I do.  I’ll have to come back to this one.  Fashion challenge accepted!  🙂  (Also, I still have to figure out who the employer of my dreams is.  See #8 above.)

4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
I’m actually proud of every single purse I own.  I can’t think of even one that I’d be ashamed to be seen carrying.  My suitcase is boring, but I’m not ashamed to carry it.  And though my current umbrella is admittedly cutesy and childish looking, I absolutely love it and am not in the least ashamed of it when I show it off.  🙂

5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
I fully admit that this isn’t true.  I’ve often wanted a redo for many reasons, and frequently try to relive my childhood.  I have, however, realized that this behavior is sometimes mentally unhealthy and am trying to remedy the problem.

6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
 (See #24 above.  Also, the college years definitely made for some experiences that’ll be juicy enough to tell later in life.  🙂  But better to leave those stories for that later time.)

7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age — and some money set aside to help fund it.
Nope.  Still in denial about that one.  I have a really, really hard time picturing myself as an old lady, much like it was hard for me to picture being a college graduate or married woman.  But both have happened, so I guess I’ll cross the “old age” bridge when I get to it.  Also, for as long as I can remember, I’ve had this weird feeling that I’ll die in some freak accident at a young age.  Though I hope that’s not true!

Oh, and as for the money thing?  Yes, there is a retirement fund set up.  And bonds that I’m waiting to mature.  I should add that to my “Things I Never Thought I’d Do Before I Turned 30” list.  It’s weird.

8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account — all of which nobody has access to but you.
I did at one time have all of these when I was single.  I still have my own email address and voice mailbox that only I have access to, but the bank account changed when I got married.  All of our accounts are shared.

9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
On the contrary, I find myself at this point struggling to keep it concise and fitting on only one page.

10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
Still on the search for this elusive thing.  Of course I have my husband, but even with all he provides for me, he doesn’t ALWAYS make me laugh, and he doesn’t ALWAYS let me cry.  Sometimes he’s the reason I’m crying and searching for someone other than him to make me laugh.  To me, I (maybe naively) think that just comes with the territory of knowing someone for so long.

11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
Granted, the screwdrivers and drill are my husband’s, but if I lived on my own I’d probably still have them.  Though I probably would never have used the drill (I still at this point have never used one).  Oh, and regarding the black lace bra?  I also have red, purple, and blue ones.  🙂

12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
I haven’t yet had the financial security to be able to treat myself to something over $100, but I consider an originally-$80-dollar Italian leather journal (which I bought on sale for around $65) ridiculously expensive for a journal, and I did buy it for myself because I deserved it.  Once I do have the money, I think I’ll spend it on one of a few things:  either a ridiculously-luxurious spa day (complete with mani/pedi, body wrap, massage, and makeover), a room at a 5-star (or does it only go up to 4-star?) hotel complete with room service, a piece of art, a Brighton accessory, personalized letterpress stationery, or an expensive dinner at a 5-star (see previous hotel comment) restaurant.  Or, if I get the nerve, a tattoo.  I know if I ever bought myself an expensive piece of clothing or jewelry, I would never wear it for fear of either staining/breaking/losing it or being mugged for it.

13. The belief that you deserve it.
Oh yes, I definitely deserve it!  And crave it like you wouldn’t believe.  The rest of the world needs to follow suit and give me the income that lets me know I deserve it, though.

14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
Um, see #7 on this list (the “old age” question).  My skin-care regimen consists of moisturizing only after showering (I don’t shower every day because it dries my hair out…judge me if you must.) and using makeup remover wipes only on the days I wear makeup.  I still have no idea what the heck toner is and what the point of it is, though I am aware that skin-care order of operation is cleanse, tone, moisturize (learned that in a Battle of the Sexes during college).  I exercise when I have the motivation, so I’m betting that’s not a routine (though I am a fan of circuits and would probably make that my routine if I weren’t so lazy).  And what do you mean there are OTHER facts of life that don’t get better after 30?!?!?

15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
*sigh* about the whole solid start on a satisfying career.  😦  I am, however, happy to say I have a solid start on a satisfying relationship.  Tell me more about these facets of life that get better, please.  🙂

By 30, you should know …

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
On the contrary, I think falling in love helps to find the parts of myself that have previously been lost, and helps to make me into a much better version of myself.

2. How you feel about having kids.
Hahahaha!  Funny this should be brought up.  See this previous post of mine for the answer.  🙂  (Quick response:  I don’t quite know yet.)

3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
Not sure if I can check this off or not.  I do know how to quit a job professionally and with my good name intact.  I’d like to think I know the appropriate way to break up with a man, but haven’t had to face that situation recently, and the times I have broken up with a man, it was not pretty (there may or may not have been a friend who broke up with my boyfriend for me…over the phone…involved.  Yeah, not proud of that one.).  Confronting a friend without ruining the friendship honestly depends on how solid the friendship is in the first place.  There are some friends I have that I would tell anything to, and in a brutally honest (but caring and tactful) way, because we have an unsaid agreement between us that these things are not being said to be hurtful.  There are other friends that I have where confronting them results in them being defensive because they aren’t yet mature enough to take responsibility and fault for their actions.  So…kind of??? 

4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
Indeed.  I think this is the backbone of what growing up is all about.  They don’t call it growing pains for nothing.

5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
Hahahahahahaha!  Haaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha!  Next question please.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
Ditzy disclosure time:  I do know these names now because I had to look it up.  Honestly, I thought the title “secretary of state” only applied to the secretary of the whole of the United States, which is of course Hillary Clinton.  But I didn’t know that each individual state had secretaries of state, too.  I’m wondering why they don’t go by a different title?  Like, we don’t have a “president” of our state.  It’s called a governor.  (Unless I’m wrong and naive about that, too!)  Anyhow, yes, I know the name of our Secretary of State (but won’t disclose it for privacy reasons).  My great-grandmothers names were Filomena, Dorotea, Patricia, and Lauriana (I love that name, Lauriana.  I think it’s so beautiful-sounding.)  Best tailor in town’s first name is Lisa (I don’t know her last name).  But I’m biased because she made my wedding dress.  🙂

7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
But I really, really, really, really, (really…) wouldn’t like it.  I’m deathly afraid of the dark and even more deathly afraid of being alone in it.  Nights in the dorm when my room/suitemates were gone or when my husband was out backpacking, I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep until at least 3 in the morning.

8. Where to go — be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat — when your soul needs soothing.
I go to my radio or a pen and paper.  Nothing soothes my soul better than music and writing therapy.  Or my dog’s scruff.  I like to hug his neck tight and bury my face in it.

9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
I think I learned this much earlier on in life than most.

10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
(See #5 in the set of questions before this one.)  I have to say this whole “doing adult things” ordeal is not my cup of tea.  I know that my childhood wasn’t perfect, and I realize it’s over, but I’d prefer it not to be.  In my perfect world, I’d have the responsibilities of a child with the priveleges of an adult.  🙂  But of course, in the real world, the more priveleges you receive, the greater the responsibilities.

11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
There isn’t a whole lot I’d do for money.  It’s simply not that important to me.  So eating a worm for a million dollars?  Nope.  But there’s a whole lot I’d do for love!

12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
I know this in my heart of hearts, and it’s definitely true about me (though I’ve never smoked or did drugs), but I’d feel a whole lot better if those hot 40/50-something smokers weren’t so damn pretty.

13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
I think that one’s pretty self-explanatory.

14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
Working in retail may or may not have ruined this ability.  😛

15. Why they say life begins at 30.
Absolutely.  I think you get your partying/fun/invincible days over with in your late teens/early 20s, and the 30s is when you start to figure your life out and do some big-time settling down.  The stressful thing about this statement is so many people try to fit every single aspect of growing up into one year, where that just isn’t necessary.  I’m still fairly new to the 30s (have only been 30 for a little under two months) and I want to enjoy all the surprises that come along during the entire decade.  I’m not a fan of rushing big things.  So we’ll see where life takes me…

What are some things you never thought you’d do by your age?  What about things you should know and have?  I should say now that this exercise was just for fun.  In the long run, it’s unfair to compare yourself to others.  (More on that in a later post.)  The best measure of how successful you are is yourself.  🙂

Wishing You Happiness, Success, and Fulfillment, No Matter What Age You Are!




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