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Wednesday Thursday Mashup: This Space is Reserved

Dear Readers,

Under Construction

Sorry, folks.  This is all the artistic ability I can muster at this time of night.  Mostly this was to avoid any copyrighting problems. 

Otherwise I would’ve totally used one of the many Google images I found.

This sign isn’t just for the site, and not even just for this post in particular.

It’s for me.  I’m under construction.  A teeny bit of it is physically (exercise, getting fit, etc.), but that’s not really the purpose of this post.  A huge part of it is mentally:  my state of mind, where I am in life, a refocus of my goals.

That’s what’s under construction.

You may remember that in several previous posts that when something is difficult for me to say, I tend to do long rambles that don’t seem to make a lot of sense, and it usually takes me awhile to get to the point I’m trying to make.  But then there’s the sort of opposite of that, which I also do.  It’s where my point takes forever to be made, and in the interim, nothing is said.  Crickets.  Because I’m constructing an answer or a good way to say it.  Oftentimes, the silence is because I don’t want to deal with the subject.  I want to shove it under a nice, thick, shag carpet, only uncovering it when shag comes back into style.  😉 (No offense to those with shag carpets.)

You can say it’s denial.  Indeed, it probably is.  But it’s also stressful and gives me much more anxiety than is necessary and/or healthy and/or normal.  But that’s me.  That’s just how I am, for better or worse.  I get anxious over things that most people usually don’t get anxious about.  I’m working on this, but there are some things that take a longer time to get over.

So.

What I originally set out to say was that for the last couple of weeks (maybe more), I’ve been drafting my life’s “mission statement”.  It’s my motto, my words to live by, my tagline, my personal creed.  I got a little help from the Franklin Covey website, and I’m trying to craft it to be just right.  My plan was to post it last Wednesday, then I deferred it to yesterday (Wednesday), then thought I might be able to post it today.  No such luck, though.

I keep avoiding it.  And really, I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s because I don’t want to reduce my values to a paragraph (doubtful).  Maybe it’s because I don’t want to figure out what’s important to me (also doubtful).  Most likely, though, it’s because I don’t want to see these words of what I believe in and what I strive for on paper, because I’m afraid it’ll just reinforce how the life I’m currently living is so painfully far away from what I strive for it to be.

But I’m pushing myself beyond my comfort zone to finish it.  Because I can’t hide in denial forever.  The painful part of being a responsible adult is that you have to deal with reality.  So hang tight, dear readers.  Next Wednesday’s space is reserved, and I really really hope to have it filled with my mission statement.  🙂

Wish me luck.

To Constructing the You that You Want to Be,

Violet

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