*taps microphone* Ahem…ahem. Is this thing on???
I’m afraid I’m a bit rusty with this whole writing a blog post thing, so this may be a bit sloppy. BUT, I am writing, and that is something. How have you all been? I know for me it has been almost a full year and a half since I’ve written anything, and boy, has my life been a whirlwind since I last wrote!
I have to say that I’ve been out of sorts for awhile. Those who know me know how much I love reading and writing. I don’t think I’ve written anything significant since at least September of last year (it’s most likely longer). It is almost March–three months into 2016–and I have yet to finish my first book of the new year (I’m about halfway through). Not good enough, I say. Not. Good. Enough.
I’ve been trying to get the willpower up to do a new blog post for at least the last several months. A couple days ago, inspiration struck. I saw a link on The Daily Post, and I immediately thought, “Okay. I’m ready to start blogging again”:
Probably since around October or November, I’ve hit what some might call a quarter-life crisis. Problem is, I’m 8 years past the quarter-life crisis age. I was basically given an ultimatum to figure out the ONE SPECIFIC THING I wanted to do with my life. No Plan B-Z. No different paths to choose from. No “umbrella” goal where I can branch out into different possibilities. “It’s too many options,” my ultimatum-giver (who shall remain nameless) said. “Nothing else has worked so far, so it’s time to put all your eggs in one basket and just go for it.”
So I’ve gone on a sometimes-painful, sometimes-exhausting, always-terrifying soul search these last several months.
Truth? I’ve come up pretty empty. I started a Pinterest board entitled “Who I Want to Be”, and I have to admit I almost broke down in tears because I couldn’t come up with one single pin for at least a month. (That’s saying a lot, considering that I have a total of over 8,000 pins for all my other boards. So yeah, obviously no problems there.) I’m nearly done with the newest edition of “What Color is Your Parachute?” (this is the third time I’ve attempted to finish this book over the years, and this time is the closest I’ve gotten to actually finishing it), and that’s helping a bit. We’ll see where that goes.
Loooooooooong story short, after nearly 34 years of life, I’ve come back to the horrifying question of “Who Am I?”.
I thought I knew. I came out of college, a bit overconfident in my success of figuring out what I wanted to do, while others my age had no freaking clue what they wanted to do or who they wanted to be.
Now I’m struggling with that.
What I do know–the one, universal thing; the compass that has remained true for what I feel has been my entire life–is that I love words. I have always loved words, and I will always love words. So that’s a start. Let’s start with that, and go from there, shall we?
Here are some of my favorite quotes. My “trumpet blasts”, if you will:
Another Emerson quote:
What is Success?
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by
a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.
This one is my very favorite Martin Luther King, Jr. quote. Confession: I first came upon it while reading Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl’s “Beautiful Creatures”. But I loved it so much that I’ve been strongly considering getting it as a tattoo. I even went so far as to take some Sharpies and writing it on my thigh to see if I liked the look of it on my body. I did. 🙂
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
I have so many favorite quotes, but these have been the ones I’ve gone to over and over again throughout the years; the ones that give me strength; the ones I share with others time and time again. So yes, I suppose you could say these are my “Bible verses” of sorts.
Now comes the hard part: my own truth. The message I’d like to share and have others put in their inspirational journals. Well, I think that would take a lot of searching through my old journals and poems. For now, I’ll leave these quotes from a poem I wrote during my whirlwind last year, when a lot of my writing came from when I was a mentor for kiddos (more specifics later):
I’ll be a warrior of confidence,
turn the careful stippling on of my face paint
into a definitive slap so forceful
that wet specks splatter onto my eyelashes,
and I don’t blink.
an arrogant sword is made stronger
by tempering it with humility
I think at this point in my life, those two speak to my truth more than anything right now. I’m striving to be confident. In so many aspects of my life: myself, my future, my goals, my opinions. I’m not there yet, but I hope to work on getting to that “definitive slap” level.
As far as the arrogance, I’d like to think I’m far from that. But I’ve run into a lot of arrogant people, and I hope to bring them the humility to temper their arrogant sword.
And there it is! Whoa! A completed blog post! My first in almost a year and a half. I’m going to click publish now, before I lose the nerve.
But before I do that, some questions to answer in the comments: what is YOUR own truth? What are your favorite quotes that get you through life? What are you struggling with right now? Are you going through a crisis of some sort? Do you know what you want to do with your life? What inspires you? Or if anything, just give me a big ol’ hello and let me know how it’s going. I’ve missed you all. ❤
To Finding Your Own Truth,